Biscuit Head
by Sasukeluber
Summary: Neji has a strange habit of disappearing right after training and Tenten is determined to find out why.
1. The best way to ignore is to leave

_**Biscuit Head**_

Summary: Neji has a strange habit of disappearing right after training and Tenten is determined to find out why.

I do not own Naruto or else no one would have even heard of it

Chapter 1: The best way to ignore is to leave

Tenten and Neji had just finished their daily sparring when Tenten had an idea

"Hey Neji, I was thinking that maybe you and I could go down to that new restaurant down the street to get something to eat and--" she turned around to find that Neji was long gone and in his place was a squirrel listening intently while eating a nut.

"Oh well, it didn't matter that it has taken me three years to get up the courage to say that even if that restaurant isn't new any more." She sighed

She walked slowly down the street with her broken heart on her the bottom of Neji's shoe. She felt so bad that she decided what was the purpose in walking so she lay face down in the middle of the side walk. She was stepped on, ran on, and some old lady in a motorized wheelchair ran over her four times.

Once again another foot stepped on her but this one quickly stepped off.

"TENTEN! YOUR YOUTHFULNESS HAS BEEN SUCKED OUT OF YOU LIKE THE PSYCHO PENGUINS THAT TOOK MY STRAIGHTNESS!" he then tried to 'put that youthfulness back' by giving her mouth to mouth but when he was one centimeter away from her face she jumped up and started to scream.

"EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW EEEEEWWWWWWW! I WAS ALMOST KISSED BY THE GAYEST BOY IN THE GALAXY! GO GET GAI TO BE YOUR MAKE OUT BUDDY, NOT ME!"

"But he already is; besides he is on a mission to spy on Kakashi's daily habits so he can find a weakness." Lee replied

"Exactly what do you mean by _daily habits_?" Tenten asked. He leaned close to Tenten's ear then whispered "I'm not supposed to tell but Gai is actually obsessed with impressing Kakashi because he likes him. And by daily activities I mean like showering, bathing, or anything he does with little to nothing on."

"I KNEW THAT GAI WAS GAY IT"S ALMOST INHIS NAME!" Tenten shouted "Have you ever noticed that he drools when ever you guys are in the locker room and Neji is changing?"

"Yeah I ha--, WAIT A MINUTE HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT UNLESS… YOU'VE BEEN SPYING ON US! GASP!" Lee exclaimed

Suddenly he turned around and Tenten was nowhere to be found.

………..

Tenten was now five miles away from where she left Lee when she bumped into some tall guy.

"GET OUT THE WAY! A GAY PSYCHO IN A GREEN SPANDEX IS AFTER ME!" as soon as she bothered to look around it was none other than Neji. "Oh, hello." She said barely above a whisper

"Hn" was his blunt hello, good day, or any other word that he replaced it with.

She suddenly looked down at Neji's stomach. She thought he looked a bit bigger than usual and normal a six pack doesn't stick out that much. Suddenly one of the pack slid down and out of his shirt. That piece of the "six pack" was a biscuit that he for some strange reason was hiding under his shirt.

Neji quickly picked it up and said "I must be off." Then he ran away muttering something about precious biscuits, Gai, and psycho polka dotted penguin.

To be continued…

Please tell me what you think and if I should continue or not. I'd love to know. REVIEW! The sooner the better.

P.S. This is the first chapter story I wrote so if you have any tips I'd like to know.


	2. Drunkened Feelings

**Biscuit Head**

By: sasukeluber

Sorry I took so long to update but my computer crashed and I lost everything (music, photos, THE SIMS 2 T.T, and a lot of other stuff) but it's like a new computer now!

I DO NOT OWN NARUTO I do own an imaginary chicken though BOCK

Chapter 2

As Neji approached the Hyuga mansion he heard footsteps following behind him. He figured it was nothing and walked into his mansion.

He walked cautiously to his room and dumped the biscuits on his bed then he ran as fast as his chakra filled feet could take him to the kitchen. There he grabbed some jelly and butter and ran just as fast back to his room. In his room he carefully spread butter on 3 of the biscuits and jelly on 2 then he swallowed them whole.

Suddenly he hears footsteps coming up the stairs.

He then runs to his biscuit shrine in the back of his enormous closet to store his precious biscuits in a drawer and tries to get rid of all traces of biscuit. Then jumps in bed and pretends to be a sleep.

* * *

The next day as he is walking down the street he sees Tenten stand in the middle of the street doing the robot while singing satisfaction (by Benny Benassi).

"Tenten are you alright?"

"Soore aye aye captain smexey!" tenten replied

"Did you just call me captain _smexey?_"

"Yesssah"

"Are you drunk?"Neji asked quizzically

"Yesssah"

"Maybe it would be a good idea if you stopped dancing in the middle of the street."

"NOOOOO I will disssineegrate!" tenten slurred

"No you won't, now get out of the street now." Neji said stoically

"I will too"

"No you won't"

"Yes I will, now let go of my foot."

"I am not touching you, that's a dog biting your leg." Once again Neji replied stoically. "Move now!"

"No." tenten replied stubbornly

"That's fine with me but once your leg is completely gnawed away by that starving dog don't say I didn't tell you."

"THERE'S A DOG ON MY LEG!!! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFFFF!!!" tenten screamed at the top of her lungs.

Neji was now getting tired of trying to make her move so he picked her up bridal style and carried her to her house. He set her on the couch and started to head for the door when he heard a loud thump on the floor.

He turned around and it was tenten who had fallen on the floor like a rag doll. He picked her up and set her on the couch again and waited a few seconds to make sure she didn't fall then he headed towards the door again and again she fell off the couch.

Annoyed at her lack of being able to lay on a couch he picked her up and brought her to her bed figuring that she couldn't inadvertently fall off of that and then he ran out the door and kept going until he was back in town.

**Sorry this chapter is so short (I have writers and drawers block right now and sorry for the long update) also I will be writing more very soon.**


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